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pervy orlando fancier

[ website | crazylicious.com ]
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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

NEW LIVEJOURNAL [07 Sep 2003|06:40pm]

I don't use this journal anymore. I got my hands on an Early Adopter account.

I moved to surreal

Go to my new journal surreal now!!!!

Add surreal to your friends list too.

5 kisses| kiss me

pic from july [21 Aug 2003|11:18pm]
kiss me

Ahhh! No! [20 Aug 2003|08:51pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

This cannot be....


Where did the summer go?


Bleh... need to go make the most of the remainder of the summer....

Oh I have some pictures taken by yours truly...

P.S. What are cool birthday ideas for a few friends that won't cause me to go broke?
4 kisses| kiss me

Venice Beach, California [17 Aug 2003|09:44pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

Please don't wash my footprints away from your heart...


So I went to Venice Beach today with la familia. It was very nice there... It felt good to just relax at the beach, enjoying the scenery, and forgetting about any troubles. Everyday should be a beach day! Man, I'd be very happy to acquire a house with a view of the beautiful blue ocean (of course that costs millions of dollars). But hey, a girl can dream.

Things to do:
* buy a new bathing suit
* work out to look good in that bathing suit
* Get Tiffany (spazzyskittles) a birthday gift
* Plan on what I want to do for my sweet 16!

-Tiffany, please tell me what you want. And does anybody have any ideas for a cool small sweet 16 party with just a few friends (I like 6 Flags but Tiff's is already there and lots of my friends are not too fond of it, some of my friend's don't like the beach so I'm very confuzzled!!). Oh and I hope you like the eye candy! =)

get deeper into the water - 5 more picsCollapse )
10 kisses| kiss me

mirror the sun [13 Aug 2003|12:35pm]
Don't worry, you and I will be together soon. And if you look up from where you are, we see the same moon....

P.S. I made an Orlando Bloom community: orlandoluvsme. Go head on over and join because you know you want to.
4 kisses| kiss me

Catalina and stuff. . . [10 Aug 2003|03:46pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Okay I don't remember much of what happened to me so far but I do remember:
Thursday: Hang out with friends @ mall, saw Freaky Friday (which was surprisingly a very good movie and Chad Michael Murray is hott. I thought it was gonna be a stupid and corny movie, but I highly recommend it.
(Click here to see my friend Tiff's account of the day cuz I'm lazy to write about it).
Friday: Shopping @ mall, bought a cute top/black tie and a cute demin hat
Saturday: Catalina w/family:

get deeper into the water (more pics!)Collapse )
8 kisses| kiss me

pics pics pics galore [07 Aug 2003|12:13am]
So I got a little camera crazy....

7 more inside......Collapse )
4 kisses| kiss me

flowers and hearts are fragile things [03 Aug 2003|01:18pm]
Dwelve unto the depths of my mind and tell me what you find...

kiss me

pics... [30 Jul 2003|09:00pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

see the rest of the pics. . . .Collapse )
kiss me

photographs are my new love [29 Jul 2003|04:49pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

playing around with my camera....

nature is beautiful...Collapse )
3 kisses| kiss me

Unnecessary masks of truth [10 Jul 2003|01:01pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Veneers. Peer pressure.

It’s funny how nobody is never happy the way they are or feel they have to change themselves.

Girls with curly hair attempting to straighten it. Straight haired girls getting perms. Light skinned girls basking in the sun to become darker. Darker skinned girls getting their skin bleached to become lighter. Guys and girls alike altering the coloring of their hair. Many girls’ faces hidden behind a heavy mask of makeup.

I believe that deep down inside, most of today’s teenagers are all the same. That seemingly confident boy or girl spins a web of lies about their self to appear more “macho.” Mostly everyone, myself included, fabricates some sort of veneer or “false front” at times. Maybe to cover up an insecure and confused inner self? Many people pretend to be somebody they aren’t in order to feel accepted. But isn’t it amusing that since most people have that mentality, everybody becomes someone they aren’t.

And I know from my own experience, this is all too true. It’s evident everywhere. When I was younger, I remember not wanting to feel left out about not owning some kind of toy so I lied and said I owned the toy. That same principle occurs today. People make up things or say they’ve been to places or done this or that, when they really haven’t, to somehow make themselves feel better or more respected by peers.

Many people are afraid to say what they truly believe and think for fear of what others may say. A probable situation: a group of people is teasing a poor victim and in your mind, you disagree with what the rest of the group is doing. Chances are, you may keep quiet and not do anything or go along with the rest of the group. But the enlightening aspect…probably everybody in the group is thinking the same as you but nobody is really forceful and confident enough to make an effort. Or another likely occurrence: you are kind of interested in so-and-so but so-and-so is not the best-looking, etc. and will lower your reputation. So when others tantalize so-and-so, you play along and do nothing to defend so-and-so but feel guilty inside. [That scene from ‘A Walk to Remember’ comes to mind. Landon blows of Jamie in front of his friends in front of the lockers, etc…(don’t want to spoil it for those of you who haven’t seen it though…lol)]. Goes to show how extremely influential peer pressure is.

Brainwashing. Prejudice. Reputations. Judgments.

Brainwashing is an interesting concept. If a friend continually tells you not to like this person, etc. you usually psyche your mind to do what that friend says. It’s a shame at times because you did not allow yourself to formulate your own opinion about that person, you just relied on your friend’s opinion.

Prejudice and reputations are simply evil and way too powerful. If you hear something bad about someone before you meet him/her, much related to brainwashing, your mind is already pre-biased before giving the person a chance to reveal who they really are. Some stubborn people hold onto their prejudice so strongly that nothing can deter them from it. Reputations are a fragile thing, just like trust. One false move and a reputation is ruined or a trust is permanently scarred. I think everyone is allowed to make his or her own mistakes and learn from them. So maybe a girl was used by a boy and then dumped. I personally believe people have no right to brand her and judge her as a so-called “slut.” So that was something shitty that happened, maybe it was somewhat her fault, but why the need for a derogatory attitude toward her?

Innocence. Being a kid.

That’s the thing with growing up. We learn more things but possibly lose sight of who we really are. As younger kids, we don’t know much about the world so we are carefree with little worries about anything. You look in the mirror. Who are you looking at? Sometimes the one looking back at you is a total stranger. You cannot recall who you are any longer. You are so wrapped up in your “false front” that this mask conquers you and the innocent true self is almost obliterated. Underneath that makeup is an already beautiful youthful face.

It’s so very true that if everybody in the world were sincerely themselves- no pretending, no hiding behind artificial exteriors and egos- that the world would be a much more healthier, happier, and better place. I know most people really want to be themselves but they cannot bring themselves to. It takes some effort and guts to be assertive enough to get your own genuine voice heard.

But no matter how much you have repressed that pure and lighthearted child, that wonderful face, or that earnest and real personality- it’s still present and alive inside, no matter how minute it may be.

Take a look in the mirror again. Smile. There’s someone in there just yearning to be rediscovered. Someday, I hope we can all find ourselves again.

[AN: I was writing this late yesterday and just saved it. It makes sense to me but I have no clue if it makes sense to anybody else, so sorry if it doesn’t!]

4 kisses| kiss me

amor [29 May 2003|07:53pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Love is a precious gift straight from the heart.
Loving another individual is loving them completely, for what and who they are.
They don't need to do anything for you to love them, you accept them fully.
You accept their shortcomings and tap into their emotions and vibes.
You know the other individual as well as yourself. You know them better than they know theirself.
You don't need to be doing anything with each other to have fun, just being together feels right.
Even comfortable silence, where you know what each other is thinking, is a beautiful thing.
They are always on your mind somehow.
When you are with them, you are a whole different person- somehow more alive.
You miss them when they are gone.
When you are with them, you let just a little of your own indentity get lost into them.

Love is a wonderful, dangerous, crazy, and beautiful thing.
An indescribable feeling- only felt.

kiss me

stripped down to the barenaked soul. [20 May 2003|03:35pm]
[ mood | tired ]

[note: this was written yesterday when i was in one of those pissy moods.]

I pretend like I'm happy.
It seems like everything is perfect.

Reality is, it's nothing like that.
Deep down inside, I'm very insecure and scared.

I'm afraid of people not caring about me as much as I care about them.
I'm afraid of people leaving me.
I'm very afraid of letting people down, and if I do-- I'm afraid they will hate me.
I'm afraid of having no true friends.
I'm afraid of waking up one day, feeling ugly, and having no one like me.
I'm afraid of people not getting to truly know who I am.

I always have good intentions, contrary to what people may see.
Is niceness, trying my best and wanting the best for others a crime?
I hate how things can always backfire.

I am sensitive, despite the seemingly outward confidence I may put on.
I say criticism doesn't get to me -- but it does.

When I look in the mirror, I pretend to like what I see but I don't.
I wish I were taller, I wish I had a prettier face.
I wish I could look in the mirror, and be completely content with what I see.

I have low self-esteem and I'm insecure.
I really hate that.
I sometimes attempt to be arrogant to cover up my low self-esteem.
What a completely and utterly pathetic sad thing to do.

How do I know who really and sincerely cares about me? What if nobody does.
Why is it that some people are only really nice when they want something from you?

I think too much, it's very annoying. I don't know why I let my mind run around in circles until I will surely go mad (as if I wasn't already).

I don't know if I believe in love. It's a scary and confusing thing. Many factors deter my mind from believing in it. Experiences, people, surroundings all contribute to these factors. I cannot decipher my beliefs. Nobody can elucidate them to me, not even myself.

As the words of a wonderful song say: Don't let me get me. I'm my own worst enemy.

On a brighter note, Matrix Reloaded was very very very sweet.
Tonight is the Smallville season finale, I'm excited. And today was weird, I got called into the dean's office, I was freakin scared. Apparently some students went up to her because they thought I was cheating. Very, very scary. 1984 by George Orwell is so boring! Well I should be going now, a bunch of homework, and you know me... I put the "Tina" in procrastinator! hehe

4 kisses| kiss me

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